Tuesday, 16 September 2014

At the time that I'm writing this, the day is nearly over; so I'll treat this as "yesterday".

Yesterday marked the end of my three month probation period at my workplace. Back in my old workplace, I would kind of shrug and go, "Okay, ya, so what?"

But here, it was different.

Being treated to lunch was a bonus I didn't (and still don't) expect (despite the General Manager seemingly always asking colleagues out to lunch every so often), though what affected me most that day were the words, "people like working with you". That's not to say that I'm some absolutely horrible person that would repel people with my very presence, I just... haven't been the most sociable in my workplace.

**I understand that there is/could be a difference between "working with a person" and "enjoying the company of a person" but sometimes these two can tie hand in hand, no?

Don't get me wrong, the people at my workplace are great. They manage to breathe life in the most ordinary circumstances during conversation and they all have a great sense of humour. I guess because I place them in such a generally good light that I tend to look at myself as mundane. Maybe that's why I spend a great deal eating lunch at my desk — sometimes window shopping online, sometimes reading news headlines about the world, such as ISIS and Ebola; instead of sitting at the lunchroom conversing with people.

And then I look at the other instances at work — the jokes during the work hour, the specific bits of conversation, the small gestures; that makes me reconsider putting more faith and being more comfortable with myself.

That isn't to say that I should lose all formality and professionalism, but maybe I should be less of a prude (for lack of better words)?

It's funny, because a friend asked me today, "Name one thing I can do to meet more people that won't eat a considerable amount of my time and I'll give it a shot". In a way, it kind of coincides with the types of thoughts I had in my head, trying to reflect on my own social skills in the past and now, and everything that has happened so far.

I think the biggest thing I can say right now is that anytime you want to establish new (worthy) relationships with people, whether it be friends or a romantic interest, it will always take time. There is no escaping it. If a person can be figured out in one day, they are either extremely one-dimensional or there wasn't enough time invested to discover other facets of their personality.

And sometimes it will take a while to realize that this new person/these new people aren't worth any of your time. It may be frustrating at first, but they may have contributed to personal growth one way or another, or gave new light and deeper understanding of what your preferences are, or generally a greater sense of who YOU are.

I also find it funny that my friend asked me this, because when I think about all the people that I've crossed paths with in my life versus the ones that actually matter to me, those friendships begun when I was the most comfortable with myself, in situations where I wasn't actively "trying". Take my best buddy from university, Jem. I didn't purposely pick him out of the whole program to be a close friend when I first started my life as a uni student. I just carried out a super generous deed that not only affected him, but others as well. Then by chance later on in the year, we happened to be in the same class and it just happened from there.


As I'm sitting here typing, looking back at my words (making sure I don't have any spelling errors and such), I also realized how general that question was. I already mentioned to this friend in the past ways to meet more people. Understandably, my suggestions all require some sort of effort or time. But I think my friend is also looking at it the wrong way. To think, "Oh, this takes too much time" is already treating it like a chore. And unless you manage to find a way to make the chore less of a bore or begrudgingly, a mandatory task, it will always be a chore. In any case, anything can be a chore then — I'm not particularly fond of the idea of golfing because it seems like a boring sport to me. So if the logic I had described before applies to this, then I would reject an offer to go golfing with my friends because I would deem it as boring. Then again, if there is at least one good reason, i.e. my friends are awesome and I would have a blast no matter what, it shouldn't matter. The same goes for "meeting new people". If you have something to fall back on, like an interest that genuinely applies to you, it won't feel like a chore.

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